Denial - The Queen's New Clothes

Looking into my closet is such a drag these days. I see the cute dresses and tops hanging in there and screaming for me to leave them alone. There was a time when these were flattering and I turned a few heads when I wore them. Well trust me, I am still turning heads but for a totally different reason. Every woman should own a three way mirror. It is very difficult to see the back fat from the front.

I can still squeeze into those cute clothes. I still look good in them. However, it's only from the front and only when I take a deep breath in. It's breathing out and the view from the rear that is the problem. Reality,check, I must breath and I will be seen from the back. Buying those items that stretch may have seemed like a good idea at the time but as I look in the mirror from the rear and breathing out - really?

Tailored is the mature woman's camouflage of what we endearingly call "love handles". I have never understood who actually loves them.

My mind is swimming with "I want to be sexy", "I want to show my curves", "I want to turn heads".  Then suddenly a little voice of reason (I hate that voice) says "You can dear, just not in this outfit". 

Now dressing for my age and size sucks big time. Oh, I can still be hot, just not wearing what's in my closet. Oh well, off to the department store I go. I just have to decide which girlfriend I am going to take shopping with me. That's easy,  the one that wears the tailored clothes. She would know where to go.

Reality sucks!

I'll be TuKute again and without the snickers behind my back or about my back, whatever.

See you next time when I explore Denial - I am good at my job.

Stay Kute!

Denial - Weight Gain

Ok, I have the gushy stuff out of my system so let’s get on to what this blog is all about, the business of getting older.

One of the things I think rings true with most of the women I meet is denial. It seem someone is always denying something. Let me know if you can relate to any of the things I have been in denial about. They aren’t in any particular order as I am not sure of exactly when any of these things hit me. I could go on and on about these revelations so I will try and explain them one at a time.

Weight Gain – This one took me pretty hard. Not so much gaining the weight as buying new clothes. The one thing I couldn’t bring myself to do was buy new clothes that were the right size. It took a long time to realize that when you buy the right size shoe your feet don’t hurt. What a comfortable revelation that was. As we get older our bodies change. Feet grow, butts grow and even boobs grow.

Yes I said boobs. I seem to grow a cup size every decade. I remember when I was happy to finally fill in a B cup. Now I believe I am a D cup but just getting into my head I should buy that size. Spilling out of the C cup is starting to get old so I will have to wise up and learn that if I buy the right bra size I will be a lot more comfortable.

For a long time (a couple of decades) I was a size 10. Never was a skinny woman. However, I would only buy a size 10 because I was going to lose the few pounds it would take me to actually wear my new clothes.  Needless to say there were a lot of clothes with the tags left on them for years. Once I had nothing to wear I finally gave in and started buying size 12. Of course by that time I was really a 14 but I would only buy 12s because I would lose the few pounds I needed to lose so I could fit into my beautiful new clothes.

I finally wised up and started to purchase loose fitting outfits and if I was in a sexy mood I would buy clothes with stretchy fabrics. I am sure you find some of this familiar.

Was I in denial about losing the weight or my size? Probably both. Definitely about losing the weight as I changed nothing. Love my wine and martinis. Do I need to mention the calories in them? Love good food. You get my drift. HATE to exercise. With all of that going for me losing weight was an impossibility. Again, denial. I was somehow hoping the weight would somehow mysteriously disappear. Maybe I could just will it away. I am sure you know the ending to that story.

Well, I have started to exercise. I found all kinds of activities to become involved in and it seems to work for me. Still have not lost weight but sure it will happen eventually. It’s just hard to give up the wine.  Working on it. I have toned up quite a bit and seeing some improvement is helping me to stay motivated.

Still a tight 12 and still refuse to by a 14.

Next denial – the kind of clothes I buy. Til then.

You stay Kute.

I Love and Respect Me

The most wonderful event on the planet was my birth. Without it I would not be here. All the things I have come to experience would not have been had I not been born. All of the lives I have touched and the smiles and laughter I was able to bring upon my friends could only happen because of my birth.

I am grateful to all of my friends who have taught me life lessons. Sometimes it took me a long time to get it but after a few more bumps I totally got it. To some, I am sure, the path I have chosen has dissappointed them. To them I am sad for your dissappointment but happy with me. I love you and will always be there if you need me. You should believe that I am that kind of friend.

I pride myself in going the distance for a friend. We don't have to think alike or be alike in order for you to be my friend. We don't have to hand together everyday, like the same clothes, foods, or even have the same friends. Our differences are what I draw from to expand my horizons.

I love and respect you as much as I love and respect me.

Thanks for being my friend and experiencing this wonderfull journey with me.